A DAY WITHOUT THAT THE KIND FEELING

Everyday seems to be forever without that feeling of magic. Many times I know it’s not easy to live another day knowing that it will start and end with exactly the same feeling, this seems to infect my mind with a dreadful thought of living my life forever in the same way.

A day without that kind of feeling isn’t an option for me. I must have that kind of feeling. It would be a nightmare living a day without that kind of emotion. A day that would spell pain and will trouble my mind all throughout. It can spark a war and would make me feel alienated with those that surrounds me. It is far better to sleep ‘till it ache my bones than freshening myself up and going out without that feeling. I know it’s not permanent, it will fade once it reach the period maturity, especially when it receives enough sun of appreciation and water of attention. Regardless of how and when will it stop, I consider it as a part of my daily life for now. No matter how hard a day seems to be, it doesn’t matter cause that’s what makes me feel good about life.

Describing that kind of feeling isn’t easy, I couldn’t fully understand it. Expressing it in words is difficult. Let me try to compare it with some of experiences in life that would somehow decipher that kind of feeling. When I feel, it’s like the first time you made an intimate activity with your beloved. The feeling is like when someone defends you even if you don’t know each other yet scare away those that tries to harm you. It is also like when you feel the urge of making love with your partner and you end up in a bed of your neighborhood crush. The feeling is really unfamiliar, it goes deep down into my heart every time I choose to have it and stays there for the rest of the day, leaving untouched when I lay down to sleep and must be awaken every time when sun shines up.

Sad to say, it can hurt people. It could get interpreted in the other way. It could be thought of bad being disguise nicely and somehow people would think it’s not fitting. No matter what, it’s not about people. It’s about my daily life, how I live each day and each moment without regret. I can’t spend a day without this kind of feeling, I know as I have said it’s not permanent but somehow it will stay as long as the subjects stays even if not, maybe new subject will be brought into the surface.

Life has so much to offer when a person knows what he wants and live daily according to the call of his heart.

by: bodengdeng